Cynthia_tss Blog

我喜歡你是寂靜的

仿彿你消失了一樣

我習慣在遠處想念你

我的聲音無法觸及你

仿彿我已經死了

此時

一個吻

一個擁抱

已經滿足

然而我會覺得幸福

應為那不是真的

忘了你好嗎

如果等待太漫長

如果遺憾太懊惱

我想我只能錯過你

只是一些

想告訴你的話

放在心裡太久

怕有天

來不及說出口

對不起

你會怕我吧

我也不想做一個同性戀者

我只想對自己內心的真正情感誠實

我並沒有傷害人

我並沒有對社會帶來不安

我只是安靜喜歡女人

只是

我喜歡的人

和我同性

難道我錯了

aRGH……sleepless night, whole brain filled with alpha 1 , 2 beta 1,2,3 ,agonist &antagonist.

Sympathomimetic

alpha1 : phenylephrine , methoxamine ( vasoconstriction ,shock )
alpha2 : clonidine (treat hypertension ), alpha methly NE
alpha1 & alpha 2 : oxymetazoline

beta 1 : dobutamine (shock, congestive heart failure )
beta 2 : albuterol (bronchodilation-=asthma) , terabutaline
beta 1&2 : isoproterenol (bronchodilator )

alpha1 & beta 1 : dopamine (shock, severe congestive heart failure )
epinephrine : alpha 1,2 , beta 1, 2 ( bronchodilation , increase BP ,alpha 1=vasoconstriction , beta 2 = vasodilation ), increase heart rate mydriasis
Norepinephrine : alpha 1,2,beta 1

indirect acting : amphetamine (CNS stimulant) , tyramine
direct and indirect : epherine (increase sport performance) , metaraminol

sympatholytic

alpha 1 : prazosin , doxazosin , terazosin ( decrease BP, vasodilation ,prevent tachycardia )
alpha 2 : yohimbine ( increase BP and HR )
alpha 1 & 2 : phentolamine , phenoxybenzamine (reflex tachycardia,  increase insulin secretion )

beta 1 : metoprolol , esmolol (hypertension w impaired pulmonary function , atenolol , acebutolol
beta 2 : butoxamine
beta 1 & 2 : propanolol (bradycardia ,treat hypertensiond , decrease glycogenolysis ,bronchoconstriction , timolol , nadolol , pindolol ( hypertension wif bradycardia, treat diabetics ), labetolol (pheochromocytoma &hypertensice emergencies )

parasympathomimetic

direct acting
natural akaloids : pilocarpine (salivation,glaucoma), muscarine , arecoline
synthetic esters : carbachol , methacholine (hypotension ,bradycardia ) ,
                          bethanechol (urinary retention ,GI ,xerostomia)

indirect acting
reversible : physostigmine , pyridostigmine , neostigmine , edrophonium
irreversible : parathion, nerve gases , insecticide , organophosphate

Parasympatholytic

natural akaloids : atropine(dry secretion ,GI hypermotility ) ,
                           scopolamine@hyoscine ( motion sickness)
semisynthetic : homatropine , tropicamide ( produce mydriasis )
synthetic : ipratropium ( asthma ), tiotropium , pirenzepine (peptic ulcer )

argh…

score by kaka at 44 min , anyhow i do not bet anymore . my gf is sleeping now….i guess i should sleep also…….

well , i made a decision to change church yesterday ,

Do i owe any1 an explanation why do i want to change church ?

Is distance a real problem ? Or merely an excuse ?

Rock Church is a very good church where ppl really unite together to fullfil God’s PLAN , I am very blessed for commiting myself to that church for these years since i accept christ .

But i juz do not want to play church anymore , i mean attending church doesnt mean my life will change or christ in me will unveiling everyday , rather it is the walk / relationship i hav wif God that will ensure how intima the relationship i hav betwen me n God .

A lot of christian out there , thinking attending church will get u a passport to go to heaven , this is so wrong , During judgement day , jesus will judge by how much we hav obey God’s words and how much faith we hav put in him .

Obedience is the key , righteousness is so vital , i learn this two when i was in global leader summit  at Muar . Only pure heart and obedience will ensure us the passport to be more n more like jesus .

Guess i should stop taking  church for granted , rather i must learn to give my heart to god , die daily liek what Paul said , so that God’s life will manifest in my life .

So this is what lead me to Calvary  Church at UCSI . It is much nearer and within walking distance . Rock is a little bit far though distance may not be the problem , but i hav learn church is not the key or passport for us to have god’s life in us , rather it is the walk and decision i hav made that will lead me to a higher place .

It s rather sad to leave Rock church as i hav built good relationship wif the members there but , i believe it is God does matter rather than church mate .

Father in heaven , thanks for jesus christ precious blood that cleanse all my sin, i ask for ur mercy and grace to be upon me , teach me lord so that in every decision i made , i will glorified ur name . I submit my life to be guided by u , give me a pure heart , give me a clean hand that i will not defiled myself , and i will say yes to whatever u want me to do or be .

Thanks you lord for never leaving me since the day i get to knoe u .
Though many times i tend to run away from u and find my own way ,
But thanks for open my eyes and i understand that

One way , Jesus , You are the only one taht i can live for .

My friend, if u happen to read this , i wanna tell u , God is real , jesus is real , and he really loves u so much , u can tell him all ur problems , he is ur fren, ur lover , ur partner . he will walk with u in ur daily life . Do not wait any longer , life is too short and uncertain , be wise and make a decision to follow him today .

May God bless u . in Jesus almighty name i ask , AMEN !